Holly Jones: 'Prince Charming's Journal'

[holly jones]

15th September 1734

Today, the weather was rather quite average. It thankfully did not rain, but the sun did not grace us with her presence, which disheartened me somewhat. However, I heard it again today whilst out hunting in the forest. That elegant wholesome voice. So I followed the direction of the notes, and found myself by the ancient, crumbling well. Known locally as the wishing well. I saw her then. Lips as red as blood, skin as white as snow, and hair as black as ebony. My goodness, is it true what they say about her! She is the most beautiful and attractive I've ever set eyes on.
"Someday my prince will come," were the words being softly uttered from those blood red lips. I made my way over to her, and whispered, "lady?" She turned her head sharply to look at me, and I instantly fell for her. However, I was heartbroken when a look of utter fear washed over her perfect little face, and she fled, leaving my heart grieving silently for her.

Yours truly,
Prince Charming
Prince Florian Hans Reinhardt Charming

[mrcaldicott]

* Holly - this piece, while short, has the effect of making us want to read more. Your description fits well with the high, somewhat formal register of old fairytales, and at times really shows off your descriptive powers. I appreciated the use of imagery and was impressed by the word choice at times.

> A bit short to truly showcase what you're capable of - perhaps you could have elaborated on how heart-broken and melodramatic the Prince became after his rejection.

Overall, great technical standard and description - leaves reader wishing for more development!