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Post by Connor Burns on Jun 22, 2014 19:33:33 GMT
Rapunzel Journal It was just going to be another day today, quiet, mother coming to see me and boring the absolute life out of me. She’s nice to me and everything but one day I would like her to at least let me out of the tower and see the world. I’ve suddenly got the idea that my hair is starting to get a bit long for my liking, especially since mother is actually able to use it pull herself up to the window to talk to me. Something happened today. A boy came to see me. Weirdly he said the exact words that mother calls when she wants up, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair so that I may climb the golden stair.” I don’t know what he wanted but he seemed nice enough. And my god he was gorgeous! He asked why I was here, (For some reason I don’t actually know), how it was like living here unable to see the world, telling me how amazing it was. He told me his name! I can only hope that he comes back one day.
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Post by mrcaldicott on Aug 20, 2014 19:04:20 GMT
* Connor - a lively and expressive entry, albeit a little short. You convey Rapunzel's youthful excitement and innocence reasonably well, and include some of the story's motifs and events.
> Think what else you could have developed in the entry - like more knowing humour about Rapunzel's ignorance of the world around her, dramatic irony, etc etc. A bit underdeveloped.
Overall, potentially very good!
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