RFR Essay Feedback - please read

[mrcaldicott]

RFR Feedback

Positive:

Some SUPERB essays. Really perceptive, well written, fluent sentence structure, appropriate critical vocabulary and word choice in general, high level of technical accuracy (in all 3 areas)

Not so positive:

Many needed a 5 minute proof read. NEVER just finish typing, press print and shove in your bag. Take a wee moment to read it over! It’s called proof reading and you wouldn’t not do it in a job so don’t not do it at school. “That’ll do won’t do.”

You can’t just write ‘Pipaluk says / does…’ etc like we know who she is! You should at the least write ‘Pipaluk (an Inuit girl of Adam’s age whom he befriends on the voyage) says / does…’

Silly mistakes. ‘price consort’ was a common one. Capitals missing all over the shop. ‘artic’ ‘alot’ ‘aswell’ - arrrrrghh!

Analysis. It just doesn’t happen for some. I told you about PEE in this essay, PQA in the ‘Unto Us’ essay. They’re the same thing! (see example).

Not thinking deeply enough. Loads mentioned that Adam reacts badly to Skug at the start / is immature. Do any of you point out that he and Skug are firm friends by the end, and/or Adam has emotionally matured in this area? No!

Most did analyse but must go deeper. The key? Connotations. ‘…pimply, in-between sort of creature’. Has LOADS. A creature is sub-human, inferior. This is how Adam feels about himself. But brief comments like ‘Adam does not know who he is’ were common.

Contractions and informality have NO PLACE in formal critical essays. Stop it

[Olivia Cannan]

Hi

I have spoken to someone from proboards.com regarding the Beauty Products & Cosmetics Shops Email List and B2B Marketing List. As promised, here is some more information about the database.

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You can download a sample and learn more about the database at
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[Elliott Maxfield]

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[Michael Sinclair]

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[Moises Queale]

Hi

I am writing to you on behalf of The Well Connection UK, a media and publishing company. We could easily get proboards.com featured in various publications such as magazines, online blogs and news sites. This would undoubtedly help proboards.com with publicity, reputation, domain authority and organic search engine rankings.

We have a wide range of options including completely free collaborations, sponsored posts, guest posts and banner ads.

If this sounds of interest, please reach out to the senior business development manager, Anita at [e-mail] and whatsapp [phone] (GMT)

Kind regards

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Junior Outreach Assistant

[Hayley Nelson]

Dear Team at proboards.com

My name is Hayley and I am a volunteer with MATW UK Charity and I have found you on Instagram

The war has displaced more than 85 per cent of Gaza's population. Stand for humanity and help those who need you most.

More than 2 million people, including 1.7 million Palestine Refugees, are paying the devastating price of the escalation in the Gaza Strip.

Civilians are dying while the world watches. Airstrikes continue. Families are being displaced en masse. Lifesaving supplies are running out. Humanitarian access is still denied.

Amid these circumstances, hundreds of thousands of displaced people are sheltering inside UNRWA schools. Thousands of our humanitarian workers are there to deliver aid, but food, water, and other essential items will soon be depleted.

UNRWA is calling for immediate access to humanitarian aid and urgent funding for food and non-food items for Palestine Refugees in need.

This moment calls for action. Let's stand united for humanity and bring much-needed relief to those who need it most.

You can donate by sending cryptocurrency to the below wallet addresses. No donation is too small. All funds received will be used to buy humanitarian aid for the people of Palestine.

Bitcoin: bc1q4206tlzgldnr3efu44hf9m6qm329ztzxhqfxdw
Ethereum: 0xa74cce7805342F10df39B698342380f58bB709b5
Solana: G9quVAfjmRsLfT9xpacoUp7rkFAvdYEd44kHLhzaFVRu

I thank you for your support and making a difference.

Kind regards

Hayley Nelson
phone: [phone]
Address: Feldham 66, Deutschlandsberg, 8530, STYRIA, Austria

[Alethea Tillman]

Dear Team at proboards.com

My name is Alethea and I am a volunteer with Hope For Ukraine Charity. I have found you on Instagram

After two years since the full-scale invasion of Ukraine, at least 6 million people have fled Ukraine to escape the conflict and another 5 million people are internally displaced.

Leaving behind their homes, jobs and loved ones, Ukrainians urgently need shelter, food and water. More than 17 million people, almost half the population, require humanitarian aid.

Life for the people of Ukraine has completely changed. Fighting and indiscriminate bombing has killed families and destroyed houses, schools and hospitals. Millions in displacement centres and damaged homes face temperatures below -20C.

An estimated 1.4 million houses have been damaged by the war, and it is mostly older people and people with disabilities who remain behind in homes with leaking roofs, broken windows and no access to heating.

Your generous contributions to our Ukraine Humanitarian Crisis Appeal helped over 140,000 vulnerable women, men and children access vital aid including food, water, shelter and counselling support.

Thanks to you, our local partners are helping people to rebuild their lives after experiencing trauma, losing loved ones, homes and livelihoods.

We have also responded quickly through the Caritas network – which CAFOD is a member of – to provide shelter, food and safe spaces for families who have lost everything.

The humanitarian professionals and volunteers working on your behalf live locally and are from the communities that you are supporting. Many have been displaced by the war themselves. They understand people’s specific needs: from food and water, to shelter and clothing, to medical, psychological, and spiritual support. No two people are the same, no two crises are the same.

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When the emergency needs of families affected by the Ukraine conflict have been met and international attention turns to other crises, we are committed to be there in the long-term, to ensure that the communities you are helping can rebuild and heal.

How will my donation help?
More than 17 million people, almost half the current population of Ukraine, are now in need of humanitarian aid. With your help, we can keep supporting the increasing number of families who are in desperate need.

Your donation will help local experts in Ukraine to keep providing:

- food, water, and hygiene items

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Please show your support for Ukraine by donating to the below cryptocurrency wallet addresses. No donation is too small. All funds received will be used to buy humanitarian aid for the people of Ukraine. Unfortunately, we are currently not accepting bank payments as we are looking for a new banking partner.

Bitcoin: bc1q4206tlzgldnr3efu44hf9m6qm329ztzxhqfxdw
Ethereum: 0xa74cce7805342F10df39B698342380f58bB709b5
Solana: G9quVAfjmRsLfT9xpacoUp7rkFAvdYEd44kHLhzaFVRu

I thank you for your support and making a difference.

Kind regards

Alethea Tillman
phone: [phone]
Address: Via Pestariso 33, St. Gallen, 9024, NA, Switzerland

[Ross Cano]

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[Jo Riggs]

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